Sometimes a curve ball

I've lived with MS since 2/95, dx just weeks before my 43rd birthday. The course of the illness has been relatively minor--probably drove my neurologist crazy when I get calling about some new "symptom'--the "is this MS" phase of being a new MS'er. Cognition difficulties have become my biggest area affected. And that's where the curve ball comes in.

For someone like me, a 25 year veteran of the classroom, a Master's degree, involved in many community committees usually as a leader, it is hard to now say--I can't be on your committee because I can no longer be a functional person there. I tried but found myself sitting in committee meetings--just sitting. Following the conversation was hard enough but then when I added a comment, it was either not on target or on a completely different subject. My committee assignment was to call a person I know and ask her to be the master of ceremony. I tried for a couple days but then realized that I couldn't even figure out what to say. In the "old days" that wouldn't even been a problem. Not only can't I get something started when I know what I need to do, but I need a script to have a conversation.

It's so hard to explain cognitive problems because everyone says, I have that problem too or you look so good. Curve ball, behind the 8 ball, whatever--it still emphasizes to me that the future I thought was there, is rapidly changing into something I never imagined. Guess this blog will serve as a self pity party for me.

Do have a great weekend. The sun is shining, no wind but a gentle breeze. all is right with the natural world.